I Got Life Mother

Sacramento Hair - Artistic Differences

2007-06-08T10:26:00.000-07:00

hair

Add to My Profile | More Videos

This is the only stage performance of Hair I have seen, and I am so pleased that it is from my hometown. I agree with pretty much everything our director Jon Rosen had to say about it. This group really had an excellent sense of what a tribe is supposed to be. I am drawing inspiration from them, especially their Woof, Nic Candito. You can see me in the background breifly toward the end, sitting with my castmate Brie, during Let the Sunshine In.

Easy To Be Hard

2007-06-04T16:03:00.000-07:00

How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
http://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

The timelessness of these lyrics really gets to me.

22 Soldiers died since last post

2007-06-04T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is really astounding to me, once you start counting the casualties day by day the numbers make a lot of impact.

Fast Approaching 3-5-0-0

2007-05-31T16:21:00.001-07:00

I have yet to make my anti-war sentiments very clear on this blog, simply because I think most people will agree with my belief that this war has been a terrible waste of money, time and human lives. As we march steadily on toward almost 3,500 dead in Iraq however it seems that protest should be growing louder not quieter. I think that my participation in Hair can provide an inspiration if not a forum for this war protest. It is of course an extremely relevant issue, and the eerieness of the song 3-5-0-0 could not be more powerful than now. Christian, a tribe member and my fabulous commute ride companion to San Jose each day, thinks we should sing this song at Gay Pride. I think it's rather dark and may be difficult to pull off the context of some of the lines (Allen Ginsberg's quote from Witchita Vortex Sutra contains the lines "Prisoners in Niggertown, It's a Dirty Little War").

But maybe the gays could use a little rallying themselves, since on that day we should be celebrating our right to be free as well as our right to dissent. My ideal line-up of songs would be: Aquarius, Hair, Hare Krishna, Walking in Space and Let The Sunshine In. Of course, Walking In Space is best performed in low light. Maybe 3-5-0-0 instead can be done in a way that evokes the energy of the moment and segue into our own personal protest against the Iraq War. Just some thoughts.

The Nudity

2007-05-25T14:28:00.000-07:00

Me at volcano in Hawaii

Our last rehearsal before the Memorial Day Weekend break had us choreograph Donna, my first solo song in Hair. I am happy to report that my days as a go-go boy at the Stud may finally come in handy! Sure enough, Berger typically performs this song in a loin cloth and our director Jon Rosen is not about to stray from this one. . . Barb the producer and wardrobe specialist has already asked me to start shopping for thongs in the Castro.

Which begs the question: Is the nudity here symbolic of anything in particular or simply gratuitous. I mean, there is obviously the famous "nude scene" which still manages to dominate discussions of this show to this day. I have pretty much accepted that I will be totally nude for at least a minute or two at the end of the First Act. But this makes sense in the context of the story. And then there is Berger himself, who is in various stages of undress throughout the show evidently. It could be argued that he does it for shock value, and I guess it doesn't hurt to perform it with a little bravado.

Yet I have found that in explaining these things to potential viewers I usually get one of two responses. The first is a sort of "whatchootalkinboutwillis" crazy look. It often is accompanied with a sarcasm that begs more explanation to the purpose of the nudity in general and my reason for doing it specifically. As I mentioned earlier, I have a history of gettin nekked for free. So I am used to not having to give an artistic purpose to my exhibitionism, but in this case it's almost as if I have to justify it in the show. The second response often follows the first and it is sheer excitement and giggles that I would go through with this.

I am hoping that I can pull this off in a way that does not distract from the other aspects of my performance. I mean, just cuz I lap dance a man of my choice from the audience each night does not make me a cheap ho. Does it? I have to say that vocally I am in good shape, but can still use work. It's funny because from the beginning I knew I would have trouble hitting that A - note in Donna. I have had several cast members mention to me that they would like to see me get it, and in rehearsals I seem to always hear a little echo of the note from the other actors. Well, being that it is an ensemble I supose they are just singing their part. I aim to master the song in my own way, and if that doesn't do the trick there's always the thong. ;)

Inspiration

2007-05-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

My one friend who reads this blog, as far as I am aware (comments please!) has asked me to keep up with my entries. So I turn to the image of the original Berger and co-creator of Hair, Gerome Ragni, for inspiration.

I have been researching a bit on my free time about the characteristics of this role I am playing. The most interesting information is from the Michael Bulter (original Broadway producer) website, where some of our tribe has engaged in a discussion regarding the nudity in the show.

Personally I have been feeling mostly liberated in my attitude toward appearing in the nude for the end of the First Act. And from what I've been reading that is a good thing, because Berger typically is the first to shed his robe!

I also have been talking to friends of mine who have been in this show or directed it before. One interesting comment I received is that it is less important to study others' interpretations of Bergers than it is to understand the context of the period in which Hair took place (hat tip Brian Hayes). I agree to an extent, though I must say I do know a lot about the 60s hippie movement and not as much about the stage version of Hair.

And so I am pursuing this information bit by bit. . . wherever possible. Any youtube links or websites that folks are aware of are appreciated. Need not be Hair specifically related but anything relating to the times (1960s).

On another note, we had our first publicity photo shoot which was fun. Everyone got dressed up in some last minute costumes and wigs. It felt kind of like Halloween which was annoying in a sense- as I thought the costumes detracted from our true talents. But it was silly fun, and isn't that what it's all about. The only messed up thing is that I damaged a borrowed vintage vest. It pretty much spoiled the weekend for me, as I worried what my friend would think. The production has offered to pay for repairs, but I have learned my lesson on using valuable clothing items for the theater- you just don't.

HAiR to perform at SF Pride

2007-05-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

Muwekma Tribe, HAiR San Jose is scheduled to perform Saturday, June 23rd at San Francisco Gay Pride main stage in the Civic Center. This is a truly bitchin fact given that thousands of people attend Pride and it is the best publicity we could get- for free! Additionally, I think the show will be received superbly by showtunes loving gay men and lesbians, and their straight allies.

When speaking with some of the organizers of this year's Pride committee, we were informed that Saturday is going to be programmed as a "high arts and culture" day. Among the talented performers we will share the stage with are the Glide Memorial Ensemble and the Gay and Lesbian Chorus I believe. There are supposed to be other Broadway like performances that will accompany our show's musical theater style.

I'm excited by this in part because I know that some people won't be able to see the show in San Jose, and others will be convinced to come watch it after our Pride show. It won't be the entire show of course but I think that whatever songs we perform will be tight by that point and give us as a tribe a good indication of what responses we'll get from the audience.

It's going to be great as well because our message in HAiR is strongly anti-war and the themes of revolution, love and freedom are very relevant today and that day especially. I am curious to see how these themes will intersect and if we will be received enthusiastically as part of the spirit of Pride. I'm also going to do my best to present this to the tribe as a special opportunity which we should feel we are a part of us just as much as anyone else at Pride. I happen to be a gay cast member, but this is irrelevant to my role in the show. At the same time it entirely informs my experience with the idea of liberation and sexuality which I must tap into for some of Berger's characteristics. I'll expound on that a bit more later.

Muwekma Tribe

2007-05-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

This is gonna be a quick post cuz I'm in a hurry to get home to Brian and spend a few hours before he flies off to see his Momma in Boston (ya he's a momma's boy like me). So our tribe has a name, and it Muwekma Tribe. This is the traditional name for the Indian tribes of the greater Bay Area and is fitting since we drive from all over (hat tip Esther).

Last night was a pretty fun rehearsal with Jon directing us through all songs learned thus far. When we got to Hair the electricity in the room was not only palpable but overwhelming. I got beads of sweat all over and even some goose bumps hearing folks support Brennan (Claude) and I singing together. As for our duet, it seems to be improving with each day. At first I worried that I could match his professionalism and the loveliness of his voice. I tend to sing a bit throaty and soulful, not to mention I've had almost no training other than the karaoke mic. :( But after we were done Claude complimented me on my harmonizing, which is cool because I had asked him the week before if that's how he wanted to sing it.

I still have work to do on Donna- and Hair and every other song for that matter. It was apparent from the first day of auditions that my vocal range poses a bit of a challenge in hitting the highest notes of this song. I have resolved this by bringing my voice down an octave (is that the correct term?) and injecting a little more rock interpretation. Jon has been quite supportive in allowing us all to take our solos in the direction we like. But I am sure he will pipe in more once we work individually.

Starting to get some responses on planned publicity happenings such as San Jose Pride and even a SF Pride performance. More on this later. I hope that lots of tribe members feel comfortable with joining these. Regardless of what one's orientation may be these are traditionally open forums of expression and that includes political, individual, social commentary or otherwise. I can't think of a more appropriate venue then to showcase some of our songs from HAiR. . .

Rehearsals Begin: 1st read through

2007-05-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

Treat Williams as George Berger

So last night began our rehearsals with our first entire read through of the script involving the entire cast. There were some drop-outs unfortunately so we are still desperately seeking more African American peformers. I have put a call in to my alma mater, UC Santa Cruz to see if they might not have interested students from the theater arts department. Of course, when I was in school ten years ago it was the whitest of the UC's- so we'll have to keep our fingers crossed!

A funny thing, I mentioned to Barb the hair and wardrobe stylist (and wife of our fabu director Jon Rosen) that I would be open to considering extensions for my hair. This immediately generated excitement from Barb and Jon. I was encouraged to not cut my hair so that it could be used to hold the extensions. After mentioning it, I thought about how that would feel- having long hair permanently through the run of the show. The longest my hair has been is just past my ears when I was sixteen. I have very thick and black hair, straight with subtle waves to it. I imagine if I had let it grow out of control it would look something like Treat Williams' above.

Can you imagine me with that mangy ass lion mane of hippy hair? I would definitely be laughed out of any gay bar and poked fun of at work. In short, it is not a very contemporary look. My alternative is to go with a Native American straight long hair look, but I'm sure then I'd be called Cher or Geronimo or something. Truth is, many people really loved my hair when it was longer. But it got really old fast. I think the first time I went short I actually shaved my head- and it was no small coincidence that the fashion of the time (1992) in the gay community was a military buzz cut look. After coming out, I realized that the more boyish I looked the more likely I was gonna get laid.

Now I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be so concerned. Or should I? I have not asked his opinion but I am curious how he would like it... He's wanted me to get a mohawk or shave my head before so I can't imagine he would be that opposed to an entirely different look. Then again, he's the one who has to sleep next to Medusa. It is all very interesting...

Anyway- long hair notwithstanding, this is going to be a fucking amazing show! I was sort of bummed to be honest when I realized half way into the callbacks that I had little chance of getting Claude. After the first read through yesterday, I see that I am gonna have a lot more fun with Berger than I had imagined. His character demands a certain circus like performance, comedic antics and big entrances/exits. Not only that but I sing right along Claude in some of the big numbers such as Hair. And I had almost all but forgotten about the song "Going Down" which is going to be a blast. It's about dropping out of high school and uses the metaphor of Lucifer the fallen angel. It is a riot. So I guess it is a good thing that I got that record sixteen years ago and memorized the Broadway version of the songs- cuz that is what we're emulating.

Cast as Berger in HAiR

2007-05-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

"Hair artwork and logo copyright Michael Butler. Used with permission".

Well I didn't even get around to breaking down the rest of my audition days before having to report that I have been cast as George (Berger) in the San Jose production of HAiR this Summer! HAiR, the American Tribal Love-Rock Musical is the original rock musical as stated on the Stagelight Productions website, where one can now buy tickets to our show.

"Before Jesus Christ Superstar, before Tommy, and long before Rent, there was Hair, the original rock musical. In honor of the 40th anniversary of Hair's premiere at New York's Public Theatre, Hair returns to San Jose this summer in what will surely be a celebrated event."

Let me just say that I am so thrilled to have been accepted as a member of this tribe and even more ecstatic to be playing the role of Berger. As I said before, I had fantasized playing Claude but after Day 2 of auditions it was very clear that a handsome young man who looked exactly the part (not to mention sang like an angel and acted superbly) was made for the role. On the day he arrived, I was actually all but convinced I would not get Berger but rather a non lead tribe role. This would have been fine, but I am so much more pleased to have my very own songs to sing on stage. I really cannot wait to take off for San Jose in a few minutes to attend our first read through with the cast!

I'll write more later about this exciting news and why HAiR is so significant to me... OH yeah! I sang Sodomy and Air (from the musical) at Martuni's this Sunday night and last night I sang I Got Life at the Mint. These were all well received, and I will continue to do my own grass roots promotion of the show and shameless self promotion around the circuit. My big idea at the moment is to try to get the cast to sing at a special event this Summer. More on that in a bit...

HAiR CaLLBaCKs - DAy THRee

2007-04-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

On the first day of callbacks, the director asked if anyone else wanted to sing Sodomy - which is meant for the character Woof. I had my heart set on the lead Claude and was pegged early on for his best friend Berger. But I had always wanted a chance to sing this song in front of a crowd. Ever since my Junior year in highschool, fifteen years ago as a scrappy headed 16 year old on the verge of self discovery, when I auditioned for Fiddler on the Roof with just this song. That time I only got as far as: Sodomy, Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Pedera- before the music director screamed for me to leave the stage. I then came back and tried to sing Colored Spade. It didn't work.

This time I was even more ready. I had cracked a bit on my Claude audition songs but was feeling confident nonetheless. If nothing else, this could show off my range. The familiar organ music started and I did my best to channel a fiery if not flaming 60s hippie who is enamored with perversity. I think they loved it! After I was done I explained how I had been kicked off stage in high school. It ellicited laughter. That next morning in the halls I passed the music director. He told me that if it were up to him, he would have me barred from the production. But I had allies in the theater department evidently, and I got the role of the tailor Motel Kamzoil.

That was 1992. Fifteen years later here I am auditioning for another musical. Some of the kids at callbacks acted surprised when I told them this. "You can't possibly be that old" they said. Oh really. Thanks! I think. . . The fact that so much time has passed since I have been in the theater is not lost on me at the audition. I watch so many talented performers who have obviously honed their skills and have much time ahead to perfect it further. Young individuals whose dedication has led them to participate in many shows around the Bay Area and even inspired them to attend art schools as far away as Liverpool! Ironically, I had auditioned for the 25th anniversary production of Hair- but I was turned away for being too young to be on stage in the nude. Well, here I go (I hope) and this time I plan to do it (as my friend Gilberto would say) balls out.

My White Christmas

2007-02-01T10:31:00.000-08:00

I know this is a bit delayed... but nonetheless here it is...

This holiday was spent with the "in laws" in Boston. I was hoping for a White Christmas. Boy is it ever true that you should be careful what you wish for! I was the only brown face for miles on Xmas eve, in a cozy family reunion of the Burns in this pictaresque New England town. I felt like family though, and relatives showered me with love (and gifts). They were only slightly melancholy though because the family matriarch (brians gramma) died this past year. Nonetheless, there was much to learn from observing the family interact. And I must admit to a few pangs of revelation in my tummy (I am joining this family! -shh!)

Brian's momma made us sleep in separate rooms- which was more of a deal for him than I. It's interesting, they are quite traditional and Catholic compared with mi familia. The upside is that Xmas is really traditional and I got all sorts of gifts. This just does not happen in my family anymore. Maybe it's the kids getting older and more fiscally conservative. Maybe it's the fact that we have smaller kids nowadays who suck up all the attention and $. Either way, I don't mind but it is a pleasant surprise to do a gift exchange. Like old times. The downside is that I was then expected to buy gifts for everyone from Brian's parents to his brother's girlfriend. And I aint cheap! So I pretty much am paying for it now.

Funny story: Brian's great aunt joined us for Xmas dinner. She is 80 somtn and a chain smoker. When I was warned that she is not to find out about the nature of Brian and I's (gasp) re-la-SHON-ship, I KNEW this would be one to write home about gurl! The first thing Auntie Ellie did when she came through the door (after the customary greeting of Ed and Ronnie) was to present me with an old photograph. "I'm supposed to show you this" she says with discernable sarcasm, "I don't know WHY." I look down and to my horror and embarrasment I see a photo of Brian home for the holidays in college- WITH PEROXIDE BLEACHED HAIR. In my attempt to shield Auntie Ellie from my reaction at seeing the love of my life express himself in flaming faggotry, I simply say, "Oh my. . ." At this point she took the photo back and retreated to the kitchen. Read: It all came together for Auntie Ellie.

Next thing you know it the family is congregating in the living room in a very quaint scene from a Norman Rockwell painting- airbrush the Mexican on the couch. Brian's father had just mixed up some delicious cocktails and served a platter of salami, cheese and crackers. His mother spent the good part of the week cleaning the already impeccable home for the anticipated arrival of this special guest. His brother and I sat back and teasingly barked criticisms as Brian attempted to play us some holiday tunes on the piano. Actually, aside from a few rusty notes it was very nice and I marveled at how functional this family operated. Then the question was shot across the room like a cry in the dark, "So are you going to Australia as well?" Auntie Ellie was referring to Brian's plans to get a nursing stint in Sydney. She had put 2 and 2 together, they weren't giving this woman credit. "Um... yeah." I replied. At that moment Brian's mother saved the day as she called on Brian to play a new song.

I have to say that I honestly wasn't uncomfortable, and didn't feel unwelcome by the Great Aunt. It was actually refreshing to have this experience and to be able to get a glimpse into a window to the past. My favorite part was the protocol of grace prior to eating dinner. Brian was called upon to say it- in his own style. But Auntie Ellie was not to be outdone, and she interrupted him twice to point out that he wasn't saying it the "proper" way. He protested that he was saying it his own way and she apologized before allowing him to continue. This really drove it home for me. I mean, we may be on opposite sides of a very old cultural debate. But when it comes down to it, isn't this what family should be about? We sat together and shared in a hearty holiday meal, enjoying each others presence and getting to know one another for the first time in some cases. Both old and new were allowed to co-exist and I would argue that neither threatened the existence of the other. Maybe I'm reading in too deep, but for me this stands out as a very great experience with the Aunt indeed.

A New Year, A New Me

2007-01-17T16:57:00.000-08:00

In the true spirit of a blogger I have decided to reinvent myself and my blog to better reflect a feature that is fundamental to this art form: solipsism. I am really doing nothing new, since the old form pretended to be about triathlons and actually just gave me a forum to show off my body. Having failed miserably at triathlons, I think I will stick to writing about myself in general. It's far more interesting, and seems to disturb some at their very core.

At the moment I am having a very ugly email war with a close friend who has finally told me what they think of me. It aint pretty. I've been accused of being self-absorbed, narcissistic and a solipsist. The last definition actually was said of me when we first became friends, and was not used in the email. My take on the situation is that my dear friend has become bored with himself and is choosing to attack those closest to him who are obviously more interesting. But at the heart of it all is of course a bit of truth to what he says: I cannot help seeing the universe only through my eyes. That's what they are for, actually.

I won't lie, this fight has left me feeling emotional and powerless. But it also has made me just want to do more of the same, continue to be self-involved, admire myself for my good qualities and collect compliments wherever possible. You see I am not interested in listening to criticisms from others if they do not serve to make me a better person. Why not use what talents I have to attract the positive things in life, even if that means coming across as a little solipsistic.

And so I bless this new year with a new blog that is going to allow me to roam into some new territory- some of it humorous, some of it dark, some enlightening. Much like someone I know very well actually.

A priest, A party, and some. . . well

2006-12-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

My new friend and infamous creative personality Cookie Dough has invited me yet once more to participate in a Trannyshack performance with her. Trannyshack - Ladies Of The Church night is Tuesday December 12th at Midnight.

This time I will be following my Freddie Mercury debut as Cheech Marin performing this soliloquy from the film From Dusk Til Dawn. I am to be dressed as a priest as I spout these dirty words. Rehearsal is tomorrow.

I will also be singing at Martuni's Holiday Extravaganza on Sunday December 17th from 6-9pm, Martuni's lounge on Valencia at Market Street in SF. I have been a patron of this classy piano bar since I first moved here over 7 years ago. In fact, I used to live a few blocks away next door to another former diva and hostess of Mondays at Martuni's, Madame Jo. I don't know what happened to her but I will never forget the mornings waking up on our "terraza" (read rotting Mission 3rd floor back patio) while she smoked her joints and served me Cuban coffee singing Piensa En Mi or Edith Piaf. It felt like my own Tales of the City and one day I will immortalize her through some short story or screenplay.

In the meantime y'all can see just how well I karaoke Feliz Navidad and Silent Night with Dee Dee (MC from the Mint Lounge) and Armond (fantabulous friend from college). They will be backing me up at Martuni's. Armond says it's because I want people who can actually sing to accompany my (ahem) voice. I think he's just jealous because I attempted Bronski Beat's Smalltown Boy last night at the Mint- even if it may have sounded a little flat. But I saved myself with a roof raising Chains of Love, by Erasure. A lil new wave nod.

World AIDS Day

2006-12-01T10:17:00.000-08:00

Today is World AIDS Day, and to commemorate I thought I would link to a documentary that I made a few years ago on the AIDS/LifeCycle bike ride from San Francisco to LA. I am seriously considering undertaking this challenge once more this coming year, and encourage everyone else do to the same.

Alternately, if you are doing online shopping for the holidays there are some good products out there which are being sold through Apple, Armani, Converse, Motorola and GAP which are raising money toward fighting the global AIDS pandemic. Put your money where your mouth is.

Quieto Despertar / A Calm Awakening

2006-11-29T09:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the advent of YouTube and Flash video, I am now able to share my short films with the world. Prior to this moment, the last audience to view this short was the New Festival at NYU 2004 and the Frameline Gay + Lesbian Film Festival in San Francisco, 2001.

This was my Senior Thesis film from UC Santa Cruz in 1998. It was influenced by Isaac Julien's "Looking For Langston", Cheryl Dunye's "Watermelon Woman" and the films of the Mexican Golden Era- notably those starring Dolores Del Rio and Maria Felix. I also might add that at the time I was trying to communicate an aesthetic which celebrated my Latino heritage with my pride at discovering a queer sensibility. How distant these once urgent themes seem, and yet still very relevant.

2006-11-27T11:33:00.000-08:00

where we come from, sometimes, beauty
floats around us like clouds
the way leaves rustle in the breeze
and cornbread and barbecue swing out the backdoor
and tease all our senses as the sun goes down.

-from People of Watts by Ntozake Shange

On my way to work I saw this marvelous rainbow, which I wish I could say is pictured above but thanks to the wonders of the modern age and google and no thanks to my ghettofab low tech cell phone camera that is not the case. . . And so I saw this rainbow and it totally lifted my mood- which by the way was quite nasty -like boom!

It got me thinking, well maybe I need to appreciate the beauty that surrounds me more often. One of the jewels of my Thanksgiving break was realizing how un-mindful I have been of what is important to me. I am using this blog for a moment to self reflect so stay with me folks. Basically I am gonna try to focus on what matters more intently from now on. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll take the time to snap a pic of an actual rainbow, from like, my life.

Thanksgivin Meme

2006-11-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite bloggers, Angry Black Bitch, inspired me today with her answers to this Thanksgiving meme. My answers below:

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Good lawd do I really need to use that flat iron, I'm in a hurry!
How much cash do you have on you? $48
What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?” Whore.
Favorite planet? Earth
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Cookie Dough.
What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Shit. Like a bitch, I am old school. But if pressed to describe I'd say it was a cross between electronic doorbell and a windchime.
What shirt are you wearing? Blue Gay Games closing night party Masterbeat giveaway, with words "Inspiration/Triumph" inscribed on front and some gay ass hands holdin a torch.
Do you “label” yourself? I am a "non-label whore".
Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? Adidas.
Bright or Dark Room? Dark
What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Ghettolicious.
What does your watch look like? A Sprint cell-phone.
What were you doing at midnight last night? Singing Wild Night (John Mellencamp/Me'shell Ndegéocello version) with Dee Dee at the Mint.
What did your last text message you received on your cell say? Call when your here love to see u - Jake Boe
Where is your nearest 7-11? Fuck that shit… I get my Mountain Dew at Presidio Bowl.
What's a word that you say a lot? OHhellno.
Who told you he/she loved you last? My good friend Dominic. Love you honey!
Last furry thing you touched? OOo-eee, uh-uh.
How many drugs have you done in the last three days? 3: Alcohol, Coffee, and Nunya
How many rolls of film do you need developed? Maybe 3, from as 2001.
Favorite age you have been so far? 30…this has been a good year.
Your worst enemy? Am my biggest critic.
What is your current desktop picture? Skulls and Hearts a'la Alex McQueen- helleaux.
What was the last thing you said to someone? We're having nightlies in here at 4:30
If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? The money… cuz Department of Homeland Security would just shoot my ass down.
Do you like someone? I am easily prone to liking everybody.
The last song you listened to? Fascination Street, The Cure.
What time of day were you born? 10pm- in time for the disco honey! On Sunset. . .
What’s your favorite number? 9
Where did you live in 1987? Woodland, California.
Are you jealous of anyone? Yes I must admit.
Is anyone jealous of you? I hope not…jealousy is tragic.
Where were you when 9/11 happened? Asleep in my loft, recovering from Burning Man.
What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Kick, hit, punch, scream.
Do you consider yourself kind? Not when the muthafuckin machine has my money.
If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Maybe on my flesh above the iliac crest.
If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Russian.
Would you move for the person you loved? Of course.
Are you touchy feely? No.
What’s your life motto? If the shoe fits.
Name three things that you have on you at all times? keys, wallet, cell phone.
What’s your favourite town/city? New York, New York. (where my hustlas at?!)
What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Chinese Chicken salad with yummy jicama.
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? 1996
Can you change the oil on a car? Um, no.
Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? Bitchin cuz I aint called him. Then he didn't return my call.
How far back do you know about your ancestry? Tarascan indian not conquered by Aztec and something about a Basque country somewhere.
The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? I bought a French Connection pullover (hardly fancy) and Barney's Co-op sweater at Jeremy's used. Attempting to look nice for the UCSF PositiveHealth (360) Gala.
Does anything hurt on your body right now? Lungs itch.
Have you been burned by love? Sho 'nuff.

I Want This Scarf For XMAS

2006-11-17T15:53:00.000-08:00

Skulls and Hearts silk scarf, designed by Alexander McQueen
sold exclusively at Barney's of New York Co-Op. I'm such a whore.

Lest I forget:

http://tinyurl.com/y58o9p

CATALINA SPRINT TRIATHLON - PICS

2006-11-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

motto of day: if ya can't win it, have some fun with it!

having fun on the bike!

what me, worry!

did they say 3 loops!

there's brian, damn!

having fun on the run!

NOTE: new iPod Shuffle

playlist of day: Samba Minha Terra - Bossacucanova / Good Times - Chic / The World Is Mine - David Guetta / Flashing For Money - Deep Dish / Rise - DJ Erick Morillo / Call on Me - Eric Prydz and Steve Winwood / Situation - Yaz / Roy Ayers - Running Away / Sweet Side of Fame - The Arbiters

CATALINA SPRINT TRIATHLON - SPLIT TIME

2006-11-09T11:09:00.000-08:00

AGE GROUP: MALE 30-34

AGE RANK 42

OVERALL RANK 313

SWIM RANK 326

SWIM SPLIT 0:13:39

TRANSITION 1 0:03:40

BIKE RANK 291

BIKE SPLIT 0:37:36

BIKE MPH 14.84

TRANSITION 2 0:04:30

RUN RANK 165

RUN SPLIT 0:23:01

RUN PACE 0:07:40 (minutes per mile)

OVRALL TIME 1:22:26

Mercury Rising

2006-11-08T13:22:00.000-08:00

I will be posting about last week's Catalina race shortly, in the meantime...

Yesterday a rare celestial occurrance coincided with a tribute to the frontman of the legendary band Queen (who would be 60 this year). "The planet Mercury made a rare transit across the Sun today as skywatchers across much of Earth watched through special telescope set-ups or on the Internet. Mercury appeared as a mere dot against the huge Sun." Almost as if to herald a new beginning, this event also marked a day in which the government of the US was taken to task on an Election Day.

The Trannyshack tribute to Freddie Mercury was aptly called "Mercury Rising" and took place at the infamous STUD bar, which some are aware I used to go-go dance at. Last night would be my first time on the stage at Trannyshack, not in female drag but rather Freddie drag- as I impersonated the rockstar in both his 70s Bohemian Rhapsody era and the more sporty/leather/gay 80s look. I will post images and YouTube video as soon as I can get it. This was a really fun experience for me, and my first time working with the talented Cookie Dough. I forgot how great it feels to be on stage, since abandoning acting in highschool. It's also awesome to interpret a famous person and get positive feedback from a crowd who recognizes the songs, moves and look. Our first number was "Let Me Entertain You" in which I came out for about 20 seconds in black heshen 70s garb. The second number was "Tie Your Mother Down" and I acted as the boyfriend (Freddie) to Cookie interpreting the song. Lots of requests for photographs. I think the best compliment I could have received was from a smitten Fauxnique backstage, who quite literally gasped and clutched her chest when she recognized in my outfit some spirit of Freddie perhaps she has always loved dearly. She said I looked just like him, and for that I felt I had done my job perfectly right!

Freddie Mercury Lives On!

2006-11-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

Me as Freddie, at the Archbishop's Mansion annual Halloweeen Party

Brian won 3rd place at TriForReal!

2006-10-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Now this is good... last night I told Brian how I sent an early birthday email out to all of our friends to try and disgrace him, with the pic of the swim out of the TriForReal (posted yesterday). He asked if I had found his bike pic, because surely you could see his rage in his expression... And look what I found today!

Not only that, but I also found out through our friend and co-training buddy Steven Middleton that Brian placed 3rd in his age group! RIGHT ON. My jealousy is over now, though I do recall at the end of the race Brian swearing he would never do another triathlon again. I remember thinking, this jackass doesn't even LIKE triathlons and he's beating me without trying. SHEESH.

But I have to give him congrats now, because placing in your first triathlon is just... well amazing. Good job Babe! (ps did u notice that 2nd place beat you by a whopping TEN MINUTES. . . time to turn it up a notch, time to turn it up bri)

Division: Men - 25-29
1. JAN MAYNARD, PLEASANT HILL, CA 28 1:25:29 O'All: 14
2. JASON FEYOCK, LIVERMORE, CA 29 1:29:40 O'All: 33
3. BRIAN BURNS, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 29 1:40:10 O'All: 96
4. BRIAN HUBINGER, MARTINEZ, CA 28 1:41:09 O'All: 106
5. TONY TRENTACOSTI, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 29 1:41:46 O'All: 110

September Tri For Real

2006-10-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

Here I am beating my personal best on the 700 yard swim in the September Pleasanton Tri For Real. Brian was in the first wave, it being his first full triathlon and he still 29 (until Oct. 20th). Even 5 minutes ahead of me I was able to catch up to him in transition, which did not please him one bit! Before I continue to compare our performances, let me say that I am fully aware that a sport like this is best raced without any petty competitiveness. I am also, of course, fully aware that as a gay man and partner in a relationship with a co-athlete I am totally entitled to being just a little petty- just a lil!

Look at how mad my baby looks below! Could it be that he did not heed my advise and wear a wetsuit in the nasty as snot late summer algae strewn lake? Maybe he was still pissed at the temperature (sub 60) that morning as he had to force himself in the water besides his better judgement. Or maybe the wonderful man I know as the love of my life just didn't train hard enough- sucka.

Whateva the case may be, let me just state that this beautiful bitch beat my ass by a long ways once all was said and done. I thought I at least could ride with him on the bike out- but OH, NO. This muthafucka spat a coupla expletives as he threw off the cap and goggles, clumsily climbed his Bianchi Brava and took the fuck off. Any dream of riding side by side in our first full triathlon together was dashed as I quickly realized that I would not be catching up to Brian now, or ever. I pretty much conceded that he would beat me on the run (shit with 6 minute miles at Wildflower how could I possibly compete). But the real kicker was how fast he flew ahead of me on the bike. . . I blame my hectic production schedule at work and his cross training as a soccer player. And that's where the comparison will end folks.

I have to say, it is always a shock to me how slow my ass underperforms on the bike. But then, when I'm at work 55+ hours a week and barely even get on the seat of my bike what the hell can I expect. Still, I press forward with all my might, I suck on a GU as soon as I get on the bike, I power through it- and all I can average at BEST is 17mph! Now somebody please tell me, if it aint the bike, what in the fuck is it?

Now I must admit, that on the run portion of this race I pretty much took it easy. The reason being, I knew that I wasn't gonna be catching up to nobody. It was a Sunday, my ass had to be at work afterward (I ended up not leaving my job until the following Monday at 10pm). Now you tell me, what would you have done knowing this? Okay, maybe it is an excuse. And if I really want to not be beat by TEN MINUTES by Brian (TWENTY by Steve Middleton!) next time, I really do have to turn it up a notch.

Still, in my defense, I must ask you this:

Do I not look fierce?

Positive Vibrations

2006-09-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Drama Trauma Trio - 3rd place Wildflower Olympic Relay 2006

Outside My Field of Vision

2006-09-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling a little detached from my goals lately, particularly those surrounding my triathlon training. I've wanted to keep writing to inspire myself but honestly it's been difficult to even find the time to do that. This weekend is the Pacific Grove triathlon and I have not registered for it- holding off until the last moment to see if I really feel up to it. Truthfully this hobbie has become somewhat expensive and difficult in that I have given up a significant chunk of my social time in order to be rested for an event.

When I complete an event, I then go into party mode, feeling like it's my deserved right to get a little crunk afterward. But a friend of mine rightfully pointed out that after an exhausting triathlon the last thing my beaten body needs is toxins such as alcohol to deprive it from properly healing. This has caused me to evaluate my intake of such toxins and I am feeling like a little balance might be in store the next few weeks. Having said that, I have just gone stone fucking crazy with the Ben and Jerry's. Last week alone I finished 3 pints of Cherry Garcia/Double Dutch Fudge on my own! I discovered the late night convenience store near my house carries my favorite and yet the clerk did not seem excited to learn he would be seeing me more often. I think he's not happy doing what he's doing in his life.

On another note, tonight I'm going with Dat (my roommate) and Brian to see Mary J. Blige. I think I'm probably a bigger fan than either of them and even made a personal mix of my favorite hits from the Queen of R&B:

1. Be Happy
2. mary j blige, ll cool j - all night long (remix)
3. Real Love
4. Sweet Thing
5. I'm Goin' Down
6. All I need (Mary) Method Man & Mary J Blige
7. Not Gonna Cry
8. Deep Inside
9. George Michael & Mary J Blige - As
10. No More Drama
11. Family Affair
12. Mary J. Blige & Lauryn Hill - All That I Can Say
13. Patti Labelle & Mary J. Blige - Ain't No Way
14. One Mary J. Blige & U2
15. Be Without You [Moto Blanco Vocal Mix]

Hopefully my soul will be soothed with sweet libations through my ears... In my darkest moments I've had Mary there as a melodramatic soundtrack. And even as I prescribe to her No More Drama mantra, I understand that hers is a complex expression of passion and struggle. She never said she was perfect, and neither am I.

Have a Great Burn!

2006-08-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

To those of you travelling to Burning Man this week, I wish to send you good luck on your journey and hope you have a meaningful experience! I am unable to attend this year due to work obligations and a Rodriguez family reunion this weekend in Yosemite (a rare occasion). Believe me, I would love more than anything to ditch it all and stand on stilts like my friend Malekei here at Coachella- amidst all of the shiny happy people. Of course, that would set me back pretty far on my training, which by the way has already begun to slack if I may be honest...

Anyway, one of those attending is my boyfriend Brian who leaves today. It was hard to watch him pack his outfits and decorate his bicycle, knowing I would not be joining. It will be his first time though, and I know he'll have an incredible experience on his own. My first and only burn was in the year 2000. It was a different time for me, I certainly wasn't training for any triathlons!

In the spirit of the event, I made a funky dance CD for Brian to inspire him:

1. Point of View - DB Boulevard
2. Double Dutch Bus - Frankie Smith
3. Missing Sweet Love - The Arbiters mash-up remix
4. Boogie No More - Dorfmeister vs. Madrid de los Austrias
5. World In My Eyes (Cicada Mix) - Depeche Mode
6. Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters
7. Days Go By - Dirty Vegas
8. Love sensation - Eddie Thoneick & Kurd Maverick
9. Anyway - Amber
10. Flashing For Money - Deep Dish
11. No More Conversations (mylo remix) -Freeform Five
12. Money In The Bag (Sharam Jey Remix)- Kraak & Smaak
13. Policy Of Sweet Dreams - DJ Earworm - Depeche Mode/Eurythmics

August Tri For Fun - pics just in!

2006-08-24T09:32:00.000-07:00

RUN FORREST! If you had seen the green sludge in that lake you would get it.

My brown skin can be seen behind this homie, but unfortunately I did not get my own pic I was running so fast... I had images of cold beer in my head- and don't forget my song was also motivating me, "YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR!"

DA-YAMN them blisters on my feet hurt!

2006-08-21T15:42:00.000-07:00

Here my ass is seen running with no socks in the June 2006 Tri For Fun- the run of which was anything but for me. Jerry says that it saves him time not to wear any socks, but for me the act proved nothing less than damnfoolishness. My feet are kinda retarded anyway and these Adidas I bought in NYC last Spring have given me trouble before. But nothing like the blisters that formed on this fateful day- good lawd! How hilarious is that wince of pain as I smash the injured foot again one last time while the leprachaun behind me gains some ground.

I think the playlist I had that day was actually a lot better, as I had created it especially for this race. The songs I was most feeling at the beginning of Summer were a mix of old favorites and some remakes, with a sprinkle of new ones:

Love Sensation / Enjoy the Silence (ewan pearson remix)/ Mas Que Nada (Sergio Mendes + Black Eyed Peas) / In My Arms (Tocadisco Remix) / Bette Davis Eyes (Kim Carnes) / Situation (Yaz) / Somnambulist (BT) / Get It Get It (Scissor Sisters)

I actually don't think it took me so long to run that I was able to listen to all these, but you never know... those blisters have a way of slowing one down. Perhaps even to the tune of 12 minutes slower!

Here I am a few paces after that earlier pic. Don't I look a lot better all of a sudden? I always find the energy to really haul during the last 50 yards, this past week I kicked it up a notch even earlier down the hill. It makes me wonder how much I could keep it going if I just sprinted harder during the whole run. I guess I'll have to wait until the next event to find out! Pacific Grove has been planted in my mind, and I will decide this week if I will be going down.

Funky Fried Chicken by Juanita MORE!

2006-08-20T16:46:00.000-07:00

Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild.

They say every athlete has a reward which follows a fantastic performance. Y'all know about my Ben & Jerry's fetish by now... Well, I have a new fabulous monthly brunch to look forward to. Local drag personality and queen of fabulosity, Juanita More! cooks up some incredible funky fried chicken at Mars Bar & Restaraunt in South of Market. She also sizzles the decks with old school soul and R&B, along with the City's very own house legend David Harness. Shit I need to work for a club zine.

ANYWAY, let me just say that this stuff was more than finger lickin' good. I was praising the lord by the time I had all that honey off my lips. It was complimented with a sensible green salad and some homemade corn muffins. Add to that a nice tall Bloody Mary and some carrot cake for dessert (also made by Juanita) and my ass was in ghettolicious heaven! I just want to say if you get the chance, try to catch this one next month. It will stick to your soul.

Final Time: 1 hour 10 minutes 11 seconds!

2006-08-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

400 yard swim, bike distance 11 miles, 3.1 mile run
It is challenging to convey how far one has come without quantifiable evidence. In triathlon this translates into hanging on to your final finish time as that proof and hopefully beating your personal best. A good friend once mentioned how hard it was for him to feel excited about a sport when you are well aware that you won't stand a chance at placing. But having just beat my personal best (June 2006 Tri For Fun) by 12 minutes, I can honestly say that I'm totally THRILLED!

I'll have to post the video I shot on the ride to the event later. . . Suffice it to say that I missed the exit due to my concentration on getting the right shot of the early morning light. It was gorgeous! When I left the house it was about 6:10, dark with deep indigo skies opening slowly. The city was still shrouded in fog and that extended well into the East Bay. I was afraid for a minute that the weather would be Le Suck but I was ecstatic at seeing a sunny horizon as soon as I got to Pleasanton- well Livermore by the time I realized I missed the exit.

I got my bike out of the trunk, plopped helmet on head and grabbed my two transition bags with much the usual crucial items and JuJu. When I finally set up my stuff I could hear them announcing the first wave would be leaving shortly! I made it in the nick of time to swim with the fast group, first out, again. In June, I had more time to warm up in the water and chit chat. Today I had to hold my pee until the I got in the water- and let me tell you I am not the only animal that released its waste in and around that nasty beach. I could see the horror on the swimmers' faces as they looked down to find their bare feet walk unprotected over many an unspeakable item. They oughtta rename the Shadow Cliffs Park as Duck Shit Park.

My swim was relatively strong. I stayed toward the back of the pack, which did not spare me from being whacked by limbs once or twice. It was actually nice to see so many young and toned bodies working hard at getting through the water. I wish I had sighted a bit more because I did not swim a straight line by any means. I also will remember not to wear my wetsuit in the September Tri For Real, because the water really is warm enough and the suit just makes me feel a bit constricted. My last two months of training and events really helped me preserve energy hear and this absolutely carried over in the next event, the bike.

As soon as I was done climbing the first hill out of the lot I ripped open my GU (carbohydrate gel) and sucked half of it down. I took a swig of water. I was not hungry because I ate a bowl of cereal and a banana in the morning. I also had a large glass of OJ- and pizza the night before. My legs felt great, I kept pushing forward. I had half-completed the first stretch when Jerry passes me on the bike! That's the second time that's happened and it's starting to get to me ever so slightly. Maybe I'll be training harder in the next few months and can manage to make him work harder at catching up during Catalina! The route was the same as it was in June but somehow I felt more prepared. I didn't let as many people pass and I was able to power ahead of a few others.

As for the run, I felt totally on top of it. It's funny because I struggled for about 50 yards in the beginning trying to untangle my iPod headphones. It was well worth it though- as the music uplifted me every step of the way. I passed a few folks and really felt more in control than the last time. I also wore socks this time, and did not get blisters as I did the last race. When I began to approach the finish, Love Inc.'s "Superstar" came on. Ah yes... an old circuit club favorite. It was actually a nice closer as they say in clubland- the lyrics perfectly addressed the progress I had made. It was cheesy, which I love, and made me get a few chills. It also inspired me to haul ass in the last 1/4 mile. WHY didn't I play this song sooner???!!!

"Reach for the sky and hold your head up high. . . And don't you be afraid, Think of all the friends you've made. . . You're a superstar.

Everything you are today, Is what you want to be.
So don't be someone else when you can be the best so easily.
If you try, and believe, my baby you'll succeed,
And your eyes will make you see,
You're a superstar."

-Love Inc.

Oh no I didn't! - Sammy's Tri-Blunders

2006-08-18T14:33:00.000-07:00

I think I might be casting myself in too good of a light on here so I just want to take a moment and "make it real" as it were. I've had my share of moments during triathlon which I am happy to forget. However, they are worth mentioning if for no other reason than to make me look bad.

Here my ass is seen WALKING across the finish line of my first triathlon- 2005 Treasure Island Tri. I honestly thought the race was already over. You better work.

Not a picture of happiness, as I leave the water in the Auburn sprint triathlon. I later lost the wetsuit I have on, my airhead ass left it behind at the venue- $300 + loss, OUCH!

For some reason I thought it would be cute to wear my ORCA singlet to Gay Pride. In restrospect I maybe shoulda coulda woulda rethunk that number. Can you say Richard Simmons- ech.

Here I am at the last ill-fated tri where I got my flat. This pic shows me trying to gain on the trollgirl ahead of me. I also passed a 73 year old man who placed first in his age group and several hot big mommas as well.

Why Do I Tri?

2006-08-16T13:05:00.000-07:00

which way east bay?

So here I go again on my own. Looks like I'll be gettin up on Saturday at 5am and driving once again by myself to Pleasanton for Tri For Fun #3. I gotta take a moment and do some 'splaining bout why it is I do what I do, that is, triathlon. It's so easy to get all caught up in the little stories and breaking down the technical aspect of training. But I'm sure some people out there haven't got a clue why people such as myself take the time to stay fit and train for events. The following are my top five reasons:

Reason 1: It makes me happpy! Quite literally, the act of jumpin in a pool and swimming even for ten minutes helped me today to turn my attitude entirely around. My body was still aching from my cold and hungover from my night at Trannyshack and stressed from my bullshit at work- when I decided to take my lunch and head to the USF Koret pool! Working out releases endorphins, as you might already know, which are natural painkillers that get you hiiiiiigh. And that's why I try to do it as often as possible...

Reason 2: It makes me sexy! Um... hullo? Now I know for a fact some of you wouldn't be reading were it not for the updated nekedness. I have to say I'm proud of the body god blessed me with- I just have to take issue with how he makes me work for it. Seriously though, the more I stay active the more I'm able to eat those pints of Ben & Jerry's (yes one to myself) and drink those vodka + sodas. I don't wanna sound like a partyboy (but I am) however as we all know it's about balance. And with each new milestone achieved I not only feel a sense of accomplishment but I think my boyfriend wants me more... and you do too, dontcha? dontcha?

Reason 3: It helps me connect with Mother Earth! Nature is the one thing that has kept me from moving to LA or NYC to work those industries. The time spent with the elements is absolutely one of the best reasons to be a triathlete. The San Francisco Bay Area has some spectacular bike trails, running trails, swim locations and vistas to catch along the way. My favorite part of the sport is the meditative moments to myself which I get during training and on race day. I have been able to forget life's worries for a short time during a run to the bridge. I've focused on how my body interacts with the elements in order to get through a swim in the Bay, or while biking up a bitch of a hill. And I love it!

Reason 4: It introduces me to new people! Anyone who knows me already recognizes me as a highly social creature. It was my coworker Jerry who initially got me into triathlon, and I've made several friends through him. I also connected with folks through the Gay Games and the training leading up to it. I'm hoping this year to introduce more of my current friends and family to triathlon- or at least to considering new ways to stay in shape. It's important to have a support network in this sport, and training is more fun in groups.

Reason 5: I can eat like a big ole pig! Okay maybe I already said that, but damn those Ben & Jerrys are good. I have to mention that some people are very strict about their diets while in training. Those people can go ahead and run past me now, I'm gonna stick to my piggy ways. Of course I am concious about what I put into my body and put extra effort at getting those fruits and veggies. But you won't see me turning away dessert. Life is just too... yummy!!

I am dying for a Cherry Garcia + Double Dutch Chocolate cone!

Tri 4 Fun - Saturday August 19th

2006-08-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

Does anyone want to participate in the 19th Annual Tri 4 Fun in Pleasanton this weekend- with me? I am considering doing this triathlon, which is a short sprint (400 yard swim, 11 mile bike, 3.1 mile run). I participated in the June Tri 4 Fun and it was an excellent event for a beginner like myself. Even if you don't own a wetsuit, the water is warm enough in the lake to just wear a speedo! How HOT is that?? I challenge anyone to take the plunge- it's all about finishing. They don't even give you timing chips or record your time- you have to kind of look at the clock yourself. Consider it:

http://www.onyourmarkevents.com/TriForFunInfo.htm

ps no i don't know who that is in the pic, but he sure looks fast!

Healing at Home

2006-08-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

Our relay team has canceled it's participation in the Folsom International Triathlon. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little dissapointed but it seems the universe did not have this event in store for any of us. I came down with a mild chest cold over the past few days, which I could have ignored and swam/ran anyhow but I'm glad that I'm actually resting instead. Our cyclist got food poisoning last night and was attempting a light ride today to see how he was feeling- it wasn't gonna happen for him. Lastly, and most seriously, Jerry had to leave town due to a family medical emergency. If any of you out there believe in prayer please keep him and his family in your thoughts over the next few days.

I will be home tonight chillin with the boy (yay!) and drinking lots of fluids.

Folsom International Triathlon - Who will Swim 1.5K?

2006-08-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

On my way to Folsom Saturday and I'm not talkin South of Market. My coworkers Jerry Castro and Paul Hettler convinced me to run the 10k leg of this International distance triathlon relay. The swim is 1.5k, the bike is 40k and the run is 10k. However, Jerry may have to opt out due to a family emergency and so I have been frantically searching for a back-up swimmer this morning.

It appears that my lovely own Brian Burns might step up to the plate if Jerry can't make it. I am shocked. Brian just started swimming again a few weeks ago. I guess he feels pretty strong- I reminded him that it is 1500 meters. That's further than I've ever competed and usually for your first tri the swim is the most mind fucking of the events. I'm pressing Brian to stick to the running but I'll let him decide.

Part of the reason I'd rather he run is because he helped Jerry and I win 3rd place in the Wildflower Triathlon this Spring. Bri was running about 6:15 minute miles! That's definitely faster than I can run, but it remains to be seen who is the stronger swimmer. I'm puttin my bets on him, but a part of me wants to beat him at something. Maybe I am competitive after all!

Here's the goldenboy during the Wildflower Triathlon

Gay Games Part Three - Martial Arts, Soccer

2006-08-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

I've received requests to finish my coverage of the Gay Games, which are now almost a month behind us! My initial purpose for attending the Games was as a spectator to my boyfriend Brian's soccer games. But I quickly realized that this was an opportunity to do more than just watch, and I am very pleased that I decided to participate in triathlon and the 5k run.

After planning my trip, I learned of other friends who were participating as athletes. One of the most special moments during my time in Chicago was watching my friend Victor Tang, of Los Angeles, win the gold medal for the weapons individual competition of Martial Arts. It took some time to get to the venue at the Univeristy of Chicago but it was well worth the travel. Besides, I forgot to mention in an earlier post, Victor also woke up early Sunday after Opening Ceremonies to join Brian in watching me compete in the Sprint Triathlon.

So I sort of owed it to her. Below you will see exactly what I did in the first round of Victor's competition. I only caught a portion of the second competition due to some battery issues (arrrgh). But the whole event was surprisingly dramatic, engaging, and even grounding in a meditative way.

That's my boy! Did I mention that Victor also was a Madonna dancer during the Drowned World Tour? That's right, when Nikki had the red mohawk and the dancers all sported their own hawks. I like to say that they ripped my look off that Summer of 2001 because I had a red mohawk in 2000. But I digress... Another guy from LA named Tony who I met while in Chicago walked with a bronze medal. Again, I didn't get the whole performance but what I did capture looks very fun:

After watching Martial Arts in the morning and getting a good dose of disciplined butch/queen action (there were some very tough lookin gayboys and gay girls as well as the occasional flambouyant queen with high kicks and screams- I'm not even lying) I decided to head out to Oak Park and catch the afternoon game of the Spikes vs. Team America.

Now I want to make it very clear that the SF Spikes are a superbly talented set of players who have won several tournaments as a team and often dominate in their Marin league. They are the only gay soccer team on that league, and this fact is not lost on their straight opponents. I have watched this team evolve over the last two years, and learned much about the sport especially with the off the field explanations from Brian- who plays defense for Spikes. This group of men is so admirable for their serious dedication and competitive attitude. It is groups like the Spikes which push the bounderies of what it means to be an athlete in the gay community while shattering misconceptions about our ability to perform in the mainstream. You guys rock!!

The Gay Games always hold some surprises, and the favored Spikes encountered this first hand. Our team was eliminated in a very close match against New York which was to decide who was proceeding to the semi-finals. It's always painful to see these things play out in penalty kicks and that is exactly where it was decided. Yet, with this incredible blow to their prospect for a medal these guys managed to keep their heads up. I was amazed to see the comeraderie and unity in their loss. . . Let's just say, we got our party on early that day. Congrats for coming this far guys! There will be plenty of upcoming opportunities to prove yourselves in the near future. Here are some images from the Games:

My apologies for the sloppy layout of the pics!

My boy Brian with beloved coach and skilled player Karl Myrvold

This video was created by SF Spikes player Ismael Ruiz:

The good ole days

2006-08-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

Me at 5AM the morning of my event at the Gay Games.

My training buddy and Unity triathlon leader Glenn Galang.

Training buddy and fellow Unity triathlete Lawrence Manuel

Good Lawd!

2006-08-08T16:12:00.000-07:00

I hate to make this site about me and my neked-ness. But don't I look super after experiencing a 40 minute delay of tire drama? Even coming out of the water I don't look as gassed as I have in other shorter distance races. Success has many measurements.

Dude Where's My Bike Pump?

2006-08-07T19:04:00.000-07:00

beautiful seacliff beach, aptos, ca - .5 mile swim around the cement shipwreck

Mr. Sandman brought me a dream alright, a dream of seeing the finish line. . .
I woke up around 11:30AM on Saturday morning feeling most excellent and ready to take on the day. Have you ever slept so much that you almost feel like the whole world has sprung to action but yourself? As Mr. Sandman's dreams sifted from my subconcious I gradually put my ass in gear to get the heck out of SF. Two nice dark cups of coffee and a bowl of cereal later I was on the road.

Santa Cruz is my alma mater, I graduated from UCSC in 1998 and lived there for about 5 years (don't do the math). And yet having spent so much of my youth in this nook of the California coast 1 1/2 hours south of San Francisco, I rarely am tempted to return. There is a myth about Santa Cruz that a hippie dippie friend of mine once shared- he said it was Native American but whatever. Basically it says something like all the white men who move to Santa Cruz will be trapped there, if not forever for, like, a really really long time. Thank God I aint white.

But nevertheless, I did live there for some time. And it was only fitting that I should have the most unique of my triathlon experiences here. My hosts were this Filipina-Puerto Rican couple I've known since highschool who shall remain nameless due to their wishes. These two kids are possibly the funniest and most perfectly matched pair that I've known all my life. But we're not gonna talk about them. I'll just say this, they now live less than a block from the ocean and had the coziest pad for me to chillax at before my race. We burned some time together.

When I awoke on race day (Sunday) to coffee being made, I felt bad about having to turn it down. Now I love me some good café but not on race day. It dehydrates the body too much- and lawd knows the beer I drank Saturday night did enough damage. I find my way to Seacliff Beach by 8am, the race has a very humane 9am start time. Jerry and Christopher are at transition when I get there. Somehow I can't chit chat too much before getting in the water- it's part of my ju ju I guess. My wave is the first to go so I get into the ocean right away to warm up.

Unlike my last time in a triathlon in the Pacific (Treasure Island - Nov. 05), this race begins on the beach and we run to the water at the sound of the horn. I thought this was really cute and all but I guess I shoulda ran a little faster because I got hit by the first wave of water and was held back a bit. Fine, I thought, I'll just swim at my own pace since this part kind of freaks me out. I was doing real well out there, my head was calm and the water felt just right. A secret I learned surfing while in school was to pee in your wetsuit, it sounds like a bad scene out of folsom street fair but let me tell you it will warm you up quick! I'm feelin good in my now warm space and doing the breathing my swim instructor taught me. Stroke, stroke, stroke, Breath, stroke stroke stroke, Breath... very zen.

All of a sudden some asshole kicks me square in the face - hard. I swing at him futiley but only manage to fuck up my rhythm. He kicks me again- harder. I'm trying to stay cool, take it easy, that's part of the sport I tell myself. Keep on swimming. It quickly comes to my attention that I cannot see out of my left eye because he kicked my goggles so hard they are like supersucking my eye socket. I can't even blink the shit is so tight and I can feel the pressure on it. Keep on swimming. I think I see blood in the water, actually it's a red tide. I try not to swallow. The first buoy is just ahead so I gotta keep going. I'm fuckin quasimodo in an ocean of red piss and somehow I manage to maintain my cool!

Now I know they say it's a .5 mile swim, but I really have to challenge that. I would have a better idea if they actually issued us timing chips but all we had to work with was the total time. Maybe that's a good thing. See I made it out of the water feelin brilliant, got into my bike shoes and put my helmet on and zoomed on outta there - they even had to tell me to dismount my bike until I left transition I was so happy to get out of the water - happily chuggin along what I thought was the front of the pack. I get passed once, twice then again and again and again. I notice that the age group is changing, the wave 5 minutes after me has caught up! Next thing you know I hear Jerry call out "Good job Sam!" Good job my ass, you just passed me with 5 minutes in my favor!

Next thing you know I'm done with the first of the hills and humming along a straight highway... I had seen two other suckas fixin their flat tires and thought to ask if they were okay (universal sign for are you okay = thumbs up). But I decided not to be so cynical, who was I kidding I wouldn't have stopped. But I sure was slowing down...
I look below at the rear tire I just had "fixed" at a bike shop in Santa Cruz the day before and it is flat flat flat. I think God does have a sense of humor. Of course I had brought a spare tube- DUH. But dude, where's my bike pump?

It is not uncommon for triathletes to not carry bike pumps actually, so I've been told. You figure, if you are unfortunate enough to get a flat- basically you're done. Well I was unfortunate but I wasn't ready to give up. See, I'm not a quitter. But I am a loser. I went door to door interrupting mommies with their kids having breakfast until one finally was able to help. Her husband was really nice and dug through his tools to find the right adapter for my tire. 30-40 minutes later I was back on the road, giving directions to other poor souls who were stuck on the side of the road with their flats. One of these characters later passed by me on the run, he just starting as I was finishing. We slapped high fives as if this were the our moment of glory- overcoming adversity to finally, FINALLY reach the end of the sandy line.

Headed to Santa Cruz for Sandman!

2006-08-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

Me about to enter the water at my first Tri: Treasure Island Triathlon 2005

I've officially lost my mind
My coworker Jerry, a 46 year old man in better shape than myself who was my original inspiration for training for triathlons, has convinced me to join him Sunday for an event in my alma mater of Santa Cruz! Now I'm not certain that I'll be able to register the day of the race- but I'll find out tomorrow. It sounds like it hasn't filled up. It's also nice that it doesn't start until 9am and it promises to be a fantastic 74 degrees!

Sandman Triathlon

.5 mile SWIM - 15 mile BIKE - 4.2 mile RUN

I'm sure I can conquer those distances. I hear the run is particularly challenging since it is all along the sand on the beach in Santa Cruz. But I'm more worried about the swim, believe it or not. The last time I swam in an event in the Pacific Ocean I didn't feel too hot. In fact, it's safe to say that I panicked midway. I hardly even remember swimming. Most of the time was spent on my back trying to talk my heartrate down or swimming a mean dog paddle around the course. It was a totally humiliating experience for me as my first event because my parents and boyfriend were present- along with two other friends. But it also was a good lesson as I had not spent much time training in the open water before the race.

I should probably stop right now with the self-berating. Brian brought to my attention that I may not be giving myself enough credit regarding my athletic abilities. Indeed, I may have painted a sorrier picture of my nerdy youth than was necessary. But I only mean to provide a context to my newfound thrill for triathlon. You see, even for someone who dreaded team sports as a kid, triathlon can be a very rewarding experience that fulfills some of those missed opportunities. And to be fair to my parents, I did receive swim lessons as a young boy and was taken to the pool and the ocean often when we lived near it. This has helped me overcome my fear of the water, as I simply have grown more used to the natural feeling of being out in the ocean. I would like to add that recently I've spent a lot more time training in the Pacific at Aquatic Park in San Francisco. I still get the jitters on race day, which is normal, but I no longer feel a sense of emergency when I realize I'm far from land.

I'll be keeping you posted on what happens in the next day regarding this race.

Chicago Gay Games VII - Part Two (triathlon)

2006-08-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

FINAL TIME FOR SPRINT TRIATHLON: 1:31:50 (5th place in age group)

No that's not me in the tutu! After swimming the 750m stretch which is featured in yesterday's video, I sauntered out of the water and was made to run an extra 1/4 mile to my transition area where I finally peeled off the wetsuit. By this point it was really motherfucken hot and I only emphasize this because getting that second skin off was my main priority! In transition many people invoke their personal "juju" as my triathlon buddy Jerry Castro puts it. For me, it simply means getting wetsuit in bag, having my sunglasses ready in my helmet, and steppin into the bike shoes with only my shorts on (which I have underneath wetsuit). One of the first things you do when arriving to the event is get marked with your number and administered a champion chip to strap onto our ankle. This records all "split" times, meaning how you performed in each sport as well as what took your ass so long in transition. When I competed in the Treasure Island Triathlon, Brian was screaming at me as I exited the water, "Hurry up! What the hell are you walking for!!" As you can see, he is a hard as nails coach- and I appreciate it.

My buddy Eli from Denver

Below are my splits for this particular race. Have to say I'm pretty happy with how I did- though I wish I powered a bit harder on the bike. Maybe I would have medaled? There's always what-ifs after a race, and these splits make it hard not to overanalyze one's performance. They also provide the best means to track improvement.

750 meter Swim, 20K Bike, 5K Run
Overall 50th (154 participants) - 5th place in Male 30-34 category
Swim | Rank | Tran1|Rank | Bike| Rank |Tran2|Rank | Run |Pace | Final
14:47|__48|_5:46_|_60_|43:19|__64_|_1:12|_63_|_26:47|_4:19|_1:31:50

One bit of info I believe was recorded wrong is my running pace. It says I ran a 4:19 mile!! At that rate, I should have been having my mimosa before Brian got to the finish line. Actually, he never saw me cross it because it was tricky to find where the race ended. My one complaint was that there was no dance music awaiting us at the end. What the fuck?! I mean I understand people have a budget to watch but at least hook an iPod to some speakers or SOMTN! I've been to plenty of mainstream events and there is ALWAYS some dude blastin high energy dance music throughout the day. And we're gay, we're supposed to be the keepers of such things. It was shameful.

On that note, I do usually take my iPod with me for just such emergencies and have been known to wear it during the run. This is usually against the rules however, and I would advise one to take a look around to see if anyone else is daring to do it. At worse they might dock a minute off your time- which would suck. But some argue that having music really does improve your speed. Whatever the case may be, just be advised that it is a risk.

As to the bike course on this day (I know I'm out of order here, bike is second) I was not too wowed by the flat highway straightaway. I happened to rent my bike in Chicago to save money, and am grateful for it. I don't think it could have been about the bike, as lance armstrong puts it, that day. What really would have helped me out would have been more spin classes and training along CRISSY FIELDS. Most of my bike training has been longer course with some hills. For some this was a relief, but I felt pretty unprepared as I was passed by cyclists on the road. One of these cyclists is another buddy of mine Anders Nelson. Also a beginner triathlete, I felt a little more competitive once he zoomed past me toward the end of the bike. I was able to beat him in transition somehow, and as he explained later it was probably due to his choice of laced bike shoes! So remember, every bit of velcro goes a long way people!

photo credit: jim provenzano

The 5k run went from Monroe Harbor to the museum at Soldier Field. It was very pretty and also very motherfucken hot- but I already said that. A lot of folks got dehydrated on this stretch and I even saw some of them walk. For my part, I felt pretty good- not even the usual cramping which I experience when I get off the bike. I guess my morning commute with the Night Ride may have warmed me up. There were a lot of supporters cheering us to the Finish Line. This felt awesome. There were also a lot of familiar faces from my triathlon team in SF, Unity Triathletes. . . But as I mentioned earlier, there was no god damn dance music to get the party started at the end. So I regret to say that I did not wait around for all the Olympic distance competitors to finish... Just a few of the fastest!

Next: Out to Boystown and the Spike's Soccer game...

Chicago Gay Games VII - Part One

2006-08-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

Me and the SF Spikes - Soccer team

Sammy's pics from Chicago Gay Games VII

photo credit: jim provenzano

The very first event at the Gay Games VII in Chicago happened to be my triathlon competition. I entered the water at approximately 6:15 AM on Sunday July 16th for the Sprint distance of the triathlon (750m swim, 20k bike, 5k run). The water temperature at that hour was right around 70 degrees, the day was already about 90 with strong humidity. It was the beginning of a series of blistering hot days during a heat wave which struck at an innoportune time for the athletes competing. Also, our event started at 6am but we were required to check our bikes into transition between 3:30-5am. Which means that after a treachorously long Opening Ceremonies (replete with Andy Bell from Erasure singing, Cirque du Soleil and fireworks, Margaret Cho and some other random political/poetry/country singing lesbian acts) I only got about 3 hours of sleep! The nice thing was that on my dark journey to the harbor that morning, I was accompanied by hundreds of other cyclists embarking on the Chicago Night Ride that morning- which started at midnight and finished coincidentally near our triathlon.

Brian, my boyfriend, was a total doll and showed up right at 6:15 in time to shoot video of me in my swim. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have support in this sport- especially when it means that many weekends I will forego staying out late with the boys so that I can train the next day. Brian understands the sacrifices I make for my training because he is also a soccer player who competed in the Games. His first game was Monday however, so he really did me a favor in showing up and getting some awesome footage. I think you will agree that I look pretty good for not having slept more than 3 hours! However, I see a lot of errors in my swim technique which I am appreciative to be able to analyze in the video.

Briefly, the swim is always the first part of the triathlon and often times the most challenging. Unless you have been a swimmer all of your life, this sport really requires special attention and practice. For one thing, being in a pool is not enough. You really need to get into the open water to see what it feels like. As you can see we all wore wetsuits, this is not only to stay warm but for buoyancy. Lake Michigan is fresh water, which means one will not tend to float as much as one does swimming in the SF Bay for instance. I've had some pretty fucked up swims in our frigid water and have felt discouraged by some really slow starts to my first triathlons. But after getting more open water practice and a few tris under my belt, I must say that I am proud at how far I have come. To all you newbies out there who are terrified of the swim I simply say this: keep on swimming, keep on swimming. You can overcome your fears with practice, focus on the breathing, try to warm up before your event. As for the psychological factor of people swimming over you and around you- just follow the guy/gal in front (hopefully they know where they are going!). I loved the swim in Chicago because it was in a protected harbor, no currents, perfect temperature and a total straightaway. I simply followed the wall, and as I can see now, I probably could have swam a little faster!

Enjoy these clips and stay tuned for more coverage of triathlon.

Crissy Fields Forever

2006-08-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

"Let me take you down
cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever"

-Lennon/McCartney

Today I went for a run minutes away from my office in the Presidio, in a beautiful stretch of San Francisco Bay called Crissy Fields. It had ocurred to me that my promise to start a blog by the time I went to the Gay Games in Chicago was not completed punctually. True to form, I not only avoiding thinking about the task but really pulled a Sammy and altogether forgot I wanted to do it!

Yet training for months for the Sprint Triathlon event which took place on July 16th would often bring me to this same place. And something about this environment brings out inspiration, wonder and ideas. I can tell that the ideas have only just whisped into my field of vision and will continue to fly in my periphery like dandelion seeds. In the meantime I have decided to grab hold of one and try to nurture it to fruition. I am dedicating this site to the pursuit of athleticism in all its forms and in particular how that may pertain to being gay.

You see, I wasn't born a jock. Oh no. Heh-heh. I could show pictures, as a matter of fact I'll find some. My skinny ass took offense to jokes about starving children in the eighties and felt a certain kinship with anybody who was an outsider. I just didn't have that natural athleticism you see in so many boys- and avoided any team sports by all means necessary. On the other hand, I was definitely born gay. And over the years I have resisted the link between being queer and the idea that sports is something gays cannot possibly be interested in, much less excel at.

Today I am a different person thanks to becoming active in a new sport- actually three new sports! It's been less than 9 months since my first triathlon, the Treasure Island International Triathlon. I still don't know what possesses us triathletes to rise before the crack of dawn to jump into icy dark water, before stripping the wetsuit only to sit uncomfortably (especially if you're a boy) on a hard bicycle seat only to arrive with muscles just warmed up for cycling and jump off to activate an entirely new set of legs for the run. It is nothing short of insanity. And I have seen some amazing bodies which were created in the shared goal of training to complete these events.

I will be including stories here about my training, relevant hurdles which present themselves along the way and hopefully some contribution from some jocks I've come to know- gay and straight. I hope to also have information for beginners interested in triathlon and tips I've collected over the past 9 months.

Thank you for taking my invitation to Crissy Fields Forever!